I made another friend on the internet through Amanda's passing. I emailed this friend and ask her for prayers because the death of Amanda is still so raw and still so very hard to deal with.
I mentioned to her what a friend had said to me about getting a grip because the road I'm going down isn't a healthy one. I felt the need to post her reply. Maybe it can help someone else that's grieving a loss as much as it's helped me.
Dear Susan,
My heart goes out to you. No, there is no "grief manual" simply because
everyone's grief is different. And because we all grieve with a different
"pattern" so to speak, no one should tell you that your grief is unnatural
or that you need to "get a grip". Simply this...if you love someone, you
WILL mourn their passing. The more you love them, the deeper the loss. If
this angel was like a child to you, you will mourn as if you have lost a
child. It's not unnatural.
Be patient with yourself, lean on Jesus to heal your heart. If you can try
to imagine her passing from a Heavenly point of view, instead of your own,
He will allow that wonderful Peace to fill your heart. I say this because I
know it's true. Cling to Him, where the only true healing will occur. And
know that there WILL be reunions in Heaven on a date and time that He has
planned for us.
You are most certainly in my prayers.
God bless you and bring you His peace,
Ferna
Angela (Amanda's sister) Called me last night 2-12-09 and read a verse to me, that has helped also. Psalms 46:10 Be still-inwardly-and trust that God knew what he was doing through all of this.
Amanda there are so many people that now know you through my emails that didn't know you while you were here with us. Lots of new friends will get to meet you some day and will know you through myself, your sisters, your husband, your parents and your friends.
