Amanda

This is a short but cute little video of Amanda. I filmed this video and for some strange reason it's as though I don't recall recording it at all. None the less it's always great to look back on pictures and video's. Amanda was 14 years old here fixing to turn 15 the coming month of August. To see more video's of Amanda check out her memorial website at http://amanda-middleton.last-memories.com/

New Years Eve

This new year will be nothing like the years past. I now know that we really don't heal we just cope with the loss of our loved ones. I have tried so many times to try and heal from the pain of losing Amanda and everytime it seems like I have added pain. So now I just cope from one day to the next. I hope this new year will bring happiness, great health and tons of laughter for your girls and your family. Amy (Amanda's sister) has posted that she's pregnant on her myspace page and maybe that's a great sign that everything somehow is going to be ok. Babies are truly a blessing from God and I know this blessing will be so good for Amy and Rossie and everyone around them. It doesn't matter which gender she has so long as it's a healthy baby, but I really hope that she has a little girl and she's a lot like Amanda. God knows us before we're born and I wonder Amanda have you already seen this new baby, do you know it's gender, have you held it in your arms already?


I'm hoping for all good things to come our way this New Year. I hope that you have a helping hand in everything we do and all that we need help with through this new year. You are a blessing to us all, before your death and still yet after your death. You saved a lot of lives with your passing over to the other side, and they will live a much better life in the new years to come. You'll forever be on our minds, live on in our hearts, and will be thought of on a daily basis.
Happy New Year Amanda!
Love you always!

Christmas Day Has Came And Gone

Christmas Day has came and gone and yet we had to carry on as if nothing has changed. Though you weren't here Amanda our Christmas was filled with thoughts of you and wishing for one more Christmas day to spend with you. I lit a candle for you but forgot to take pictures of the candle burning brightly on Nutt Nutt's cage. I let it burn till there was nothing left and now Nutt Nutt's cage is red were the candle burned in honor of the most precious person that's missing from our life this Christmas day. I made this picture of you and passed it out so we'd have a reminder of you on this unforgetable Christmas day spent thinking of you. I can't begin to tell you how hard this Christmas was on me and everyone that loves you dearly. I think somehow you know all that we're going through, no time to heal before the holiday season. The highlight of my day was when I read the text message that said "Merry Christmas" sent from your sister Angela. I was sitting in the parking lot at China restraunt fixing to go in to get a bite to eat when I noticed her message. I called her to say thank you for the text; "as that meant more to me than she'll ever know". In ways it's as if Angela is doing what Amanda would have done if only she were still here. All those special phone calls from Amanda I'll miss with all my heart as I'll not recieve any more not even on Christmas day. Although Amanda was missed dearly through the holiday seasons, I bet Christmas in Heaven is much more than we could ever dream.

2008 Holiday Season

This is the first chance I've had to sit down and write about the things that's been on my mind and to express how the holiday season was filled with emptiness, as though nothing was added this year to make it a memorial holiday.

December 13th Mike and Dena celebrated Kendel's birthday. I rode with Kim over to visit with the family, needless to say we missed the birthday party but did get to watch as your girls help decorate the Christmas tree and hang their stockings. Pictures were taken by Kim of the girls dressed in their cute little Christmas dresses all but Rebekah. Kim and I watched a little of your wedding video but had to stop the video as it was to hard to watch. It seems as though the holiday season were happening in slow motion this year, as my mind took in everything that used to make the holidays so special only to have them feel so empty and lonely as this empty void is being filled with the way things used to be. Our holiday's past was so wonderful, so meaningful and filled me with blessings to look back on.

When I Sit Alone

When I sit Alone
by Susan Smith

I think of you often Amanda.
When I sit alone as I often do.
I pray that there are often times
you're sitting with me.

When I am crying and don't understand,
I hope that you're wipping my tears.
Hold my hand and walk with me.
Let me know that everyting will be alright.

You were always thoughtfull,
generous and true.
You always cared for others,
as it always showed.
I will always remember,
your kindness toward me.
Thank you for brightening my
world with all the small things
you've done for me.

The happiness of your friendship
The kindness in your words
The gentleness of how you've touched my life
Those are my thoughts of you
when I sit alone.

Sisters Of Four

Sisters Of Four

by Susan Smith
We have a love like no other,

It reaches down in our souls.

Faith and trust keep us strong,

Our love bonds us.

That's what sisters are.

Together we've seen a lot.

We've been through a lot.

Our faith brings us back to one another.

We stand tall letting the

foundation from our parents keep us sound.

We grew yet not apart,

Left the nest and have families of our own.

Each of my sister I do love.

Sisters of four is what we are.